Navigating Transitions: Finding Hope in Grief

This picture was taken on our last day in our Maryland home.

God, investigate my life;
    get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
    even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
    before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
    then up ahead and you’re there, too—
    your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful
    I can’t take it all in! Psalm 139:1-6 The Message

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This month’s devotion explores the grief of transitions and God’s promises.

Distraction of  Moving

Have you ever had to give away or sell something that you love? You may have found yourself in this situation for many reasons: financial need, a job change, a move. to name a few. Summer is a time when many people relocate to a new area. Seven years ago, we were preparing to leave a home of thirty-two years. I couldn’t believe the time it took packing, throwing away, making decisions, and saying goodbye. I wasn’t prepared for the grief of letting go. It felt like a part of my heart was being torn out.

But God gives purpose to our transitions, moves, losses, and changes. He lovingly accompanies us, preparing new experiences and relationships on our new path. He composes the melody of our lives through each moment, weaving together joyous chords, minor melodies, pounding bass notes with drums, and sweet harmonies in our life song. At the same time, He uses what we give up or leave behind to bless others.

When I moved from Maryland to Colorado, it had its joys and challenges. There were many precious memories, yet so much to clean out. I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming grief. In the process, God revealed new insights to me.

Melodies of the Home

By Peg Arnold

Empty rooms and echoing halls once filled with

the music of laughter, voices, and footsteps.

Walls that were decorated with faces of loved ones’ smiles,

are now bare, with only the years of memories soaked inside.

Oh if these walls had voices, the ballads they would sing

If the floors were instruments, the rhythm of life would be a symphony

First the bouncing beat of babies and toddlers

Full of giggles and teary-eyed cries

Boo boos being kissed and bedtime stories retold

Next the chaotic cacophony of school books and

choruses full of chatter, chiding and cheers,

Interspersed with descants of backyard picnics,

Refrigerator Picassos, piles of laundry, and insatiable appetites.

As the family grows into the teen years, the symphony reaches a climax of

the dichotomous joys and challenges that accompany emerging independence,

Ending with a mournful melody interspersed with harmonies of joyful expectation!

This home embraces the many memories and movements carved into the

walls and floors from each season of life,

But just like seasons, houses change, families grow up and move on.

This house now silent, cleaned spotless, swept clear of generational legacies,

Becomes an empty score for the composition of a new family chorus.

God bless this home, the tunes that dwell within, and the harmonies of a new song.

Now, think about the changes you’re going through. Maybe it’s not about moving out of a house, but something else is changing. What’s the tune of your transition? Is it a mournful melody or filled with joyful chords? What’s there to appreciate in the midst of it? What lessons can you take away? And where’s that glimmer of hope peeking through?

Dear Lord,

You are the composer of our lives. You see our past, and you know our future. You know how we will respond when we encounter changes and seasons. Help us to see the joys amid the losses, the hope instead of the fear, and cling to your faithfulness through it all. Amen.

As always, I appreciate your encouragement and seek to serve!

Distraction of Dance

Jeremiah 31:13
Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

It happened ten years ago, during the month of May, but I remember it like yesterday. Both of my children were graduating; one from high school and the other from college. It was busy, stressful and exciting as we planned for all the celebratory events. We anticipated having both sets of grandparents join us for my son’s high school ceremonies. This would only be the third time we had all been together in the same place since my husband and I got married. With my parents in Michigan, his parents in California and we lived in Maryland this was not an easy feat. I call these legacy moments in the life of a family, when everyone is together, celebrating. It creates a picture to last a lifetime.

The first crack in this painting occurred when my dad called from Michigan. It seems he needed another heart operation. This one was not life threatening, but necessary and Cleveland Clinic had scheduled him for the week of my son’s graduation. Of course, I was extremely disappointed that he and my mom would not be able to share in the events, but I assured my Dad that this was what he needed to do. The picture of eight was now reduced to six.

The second crack occurred on the day we were preparing to pick up my in-laws from the airport. The day began as any other, with coffee in hand, I was on the porch reading my devotions and the phone rang. It was clear by my husband’s conversation that something was very wrong. I walked out to the kitchen, as he hung up the phone, looked at me and said, “My dad, had a massive heart attack, he . . . did not survive.” This tore right through the legacy painting. Now we were not picking up his folks from the airport but, instead, I was taking him to the same airport so that he could fly home to be with his family in California.

The celebratory graduation events were now shadowed with a huge shroud of loss and grief. Not only did we not have any grandparents at the open house and baccalaureate, but my husband was absent as well. The biggest loss was the permanent hole in our family as we would never be able to celebrate another memory with Grandpa.

In spite of it all, my husband was able to return for the actual graduation day. That morning we all woke up determined to make the day special. I was fixing a nice breakfast for the family and the phone rang. My husband answered it upstairs so I was clueless to the message. He came downstairs and I could tell by his face something was wrong. They say things always happen in threes, and here was the third event that shrouded the graduation day. He began to share with me the details of the call. It was his boss, calling to inform my husband, over the phone, that his position was eliminated, effective, immediately. No real reason except “reorganization”. He would be expected to turn in all keys, car and company belongings the next day.

I couldn’t believe my ears and thought he was kidding. When he assured me it was not a joke, we embraced each other and danced. Right there in the kitchen, just the two of us, crying and swaying while I sang “Bend me break me anyway you want to, long as you love me, it’s alright”

Solomon was very wise when he penned the 3rd chapter of Ecclesiastes. There is a time for everything: verse 4 “ a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” Sometimes in the midst of grief and mourning, the best distraction is. . . to dance.

Thank you Lord that there is a time for everything, nothing is forever and you created seasons for a purpose. Thank you for gifts like dancing and other joys to distract us in the midst of challenging times. Help us to embrace these gifts, feel your peace and have confidence in Your word that joy will come in the morning. Amen